Category Archives: Notes

1428. It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. ~e. e. cummings

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Authenticity is mesmerizing!
Vulnerability is captivating!
Flaws can be enchanting!
Light is breathtaking!
Love is spellbinding!
And you are sacred!
~Edited and adapted quote
by Craig Crippen

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Although the process of looking for better versions of myself was coming to an end under my own will and impetus, it was finished with the help of a trained mentor. It was she who herself had been where I was that found the wisdom and words to drive the message home to me that when we reject who we are, it is not only a lie to the world but also a lie to ourselves, and such lies can lead to depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief. So to “pay it forward” what I want others to know, although I don’t think my posts on this subject have reached all of those I was hoping it would, perhaps you who have read it will be able to “pay it forward” some day in your own way so that the gift stays alive. The road to recovery and finding our true-blue selves is not hard to do even after age 10 or 20 or 30 or 40 or yet more years later. It first begins when we realize that the original true-to-self person we once were did not die. Many, like me, just put him/her into hiding and learned to exchange who we are for something less and/or something false. It is always a choice! So please don’t hand who and what you are over to an often corrupt and superficial world! You are made of better stuff, holy stuff, intentional stuff!!!

In closing, without fail there are going to be hard times in life which will demand that we be utterly and completely who we truly are in our heart of hearts. Life is NOT a competition nor a comparison!!! We don’t have to trade our genuine identity and authenticity for ANYONE ELSE’S approval or standards!!! In fact when the trials come and they will, we will need EVERYTHING in the repertoire of embracing the divine self in order to remain alive and whole, make crucial decisions, support loved ones, and move forward. So please instead of creating versions of yourselves, start TODAY searching for and spending time with the real you of you!!!

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Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ~Ephesians 4:25 ✝

**Images via the Internet

1427. It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. ~André Gide

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Use your authentic voice
and share from your heart.
Be real. Be you. Tell your story.
~Arianna Merritt

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My discourse the last two days has not been penned in order to mitigate myself, to explain myself, nor to address any of my personal needs. I just hate to see so many people, especially young girls and women, believing they have to create “versions” of themselves to be worthy and/or to survive when all they need do is discover and/or reconnect with what’s real and true about themselves. One should never have to tell lies to validate him or herself. We were already born “enough!” For after all we are the apple of God’s eye and created in His image! Nothing in this life is perfect, and so we must learn to work with the imperfections in and around us. That does NOT mean, however, that we have to become differently imperfect to do that. We are already equipped with what we need to accomplish our purpose in this life. In fact it was in-utero-hard-wired into our beings.

A version by definition is: something differing in certain respects. Although time causes our physical bodies to differ and maturing can and should bring a differing and greater wisdom, we do NOT have to alter our core, our soul. Once I learned this not only did I successfully raise a child to be true to herself, but as a teacher I encouraged needy adolescent children every day. And when dealing with them, I learned quickly that being true to my real self made me more trustworthy, more approachable, and more able to shore up in truth the wobbly legs of those who were struggling to “fit in.” Yes, it requires diligent vulnerability, transparency, honesty, and integrity, but that’s what I came into the world designed to be able to muster, and so did YOU!!!

To be continued…

The images he makes are a fraud; they have no breath in them. ~Excerpt from Jeremiah 51:17 ✝

**Image via Pinterest; text added by Natalie

1426. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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To be nobody but yourself in a world
that’s doing its best to make you somebody else,
is to fight the hardest battle you’re very going to fight.
~e. e. cummings

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authentic: 1. true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character is sincere and authentic with no pretensions

After my daughter was born, I was standing one day outside the nursery looking at her. There she was lying side by side with the 50+ other children who’d be born that day, and none of them looked anything alike. It dawned on me then that it didn’t matter to her or me, for all she knew was to be was exactly who and what she had just been born to be. But soon she began to grow and learn like all children, and it wasn’t long before she could walk and talk as well as listen to what was being said around her. Sadly one day she heard someone make fun of her birthmark, and it hurt her feelings. Then there was the salesman at a shoe store who made a big deal about her little feet that turned in a bit too much. When he sent us to another store for “corrective” shoes, again her little sensitive feelings got hurt from the perception that she was not “normal.” And on and on stories like that go, not just for her, but for all of us. Our defining moments are certainly not all the same as hers, but similar incidents began way, way back there to make all of us have doubts and fears that we were somehow not as we should be. And then our school days began, and belittling voices became an almost daily thing. Moreover with every advancing year, the voices of derision and mockery multiplied, growing louder and more demanding. The rest is her story to tell, and I’ll leave that up to her to do so when and if she gets ready some day.

But I can give you a look at how it went for me. It started with the reality that I am quite a bit taller than most girls/women, and so I was called a giant and made fun of as such. I wear glasses and I was called the unflattering moniker, “4” eyes; I have lots and lots of freckles and was teased about having the uncomely brown “spots;” I used to be extremely skinny and was called names like stick girl and so on. So how did I cope with things like these and more that hurt my feelings, and how did I attempt to “fit in.” Well, in the beginning I tried anything and everything to change who I was based solely on superficial aspects. For it didn’t matter one iota to the mockers that I’m intelligent or that I’m sensitive or that I’m creative or that I’m compassionate/caring or that I’m fun-loving and have a great sense of humor and so on. Simply put, I handed myself over to a self-inflicted betrayal as well as forfeiting my power to grow into all that I was meant to be and giving up my freedom to the “they,” that mysterious, mystically misguiding, detrimentally defining “they.” How did I do it? By slumping down in chairs so as not to appear so tall, by taking my glasses off and hiding them in my pocket while I struggled to see, by buying gallons of lotions that supposedly removed freckles, by wearing clothes that made me look less thin and then eventually by eating too much so as not to be too thin any longer. And I became very shy and withdrawn so as keep myself from being open to ridicule for saying something the “they” deemed silly or not “cool.” In other words I changed my façade and neglected things, far, far more important things that made me uniquely me. It wasn’t a version of me; it was simply a deception, a falsehood, a lie!!!

To be continued…

See, they are all false! Their deeds amount to nothing; their images are but wind and confusion. ~Isaiah 41:29  ✝

**Left photo above is my daughter; right photo is myself at about the same age.

1425. We are constantly invited to be who we are. ~Henry David Thoreau

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The authentic self is
soul made visible.
~Sarah Fan Breathnach

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Oh yippie! Another day, another invitation to be the best version of ourselves! Arghhh!!!

Let’s think about that for a minute. Is that like sprinkling sparkle dust all over ourselves so we can shine better? Is it like putting on a mask that covers our faces so that we feel more beautiful and/or desirable? Is it like hiding behind a door to be opened only by someone with the best “schmooze” imploring us to join his/her homogenous group because “they” are the rightful power brokers of people? Whatever it is, a version is a lie! A version is simply a distortion or a turning and twisting of the truth into sometime untrue.

And in retrospect, I cannot figure out why any of us ever choose to do that. Is it because we have forgotten who we truly are or because we’ve been listening too long to the world tell us who and what we should be? If so where is the body of judges that determines that, what are their credentials and qualifications to make those decisions for us, and more importantly who put them in charge???

To be continued…

Of what value is an idol carved by a craftsman? Or an image that teaches lies? ,,,” ~Habakkuk 2:18  ✝

**Image found on Pinterest

1424. The West is color. Its colors are animal rather than vegetable, the colors of earth and sunlight and ripeness. ~Jessamyn Westl

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The prairie skies can always make you
see more than what you believe.
~Jackson Burnett

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It was still that day, evocatively still and sacredly quiet. The plain’s grasses shone golden in the sunlight and spread out before us like butter on warm toast in and around the craggy terrain. Mountains, hills, buttes, mesas, and plateaus framed these prairies and stood like paternal sentinels over the hallowed ground they had erupted upon eons ago. And although there was barely a breeze blowing on that chilly autumn day when we travelled through northern New Mexico, one could faintly hear, or maybe just imagine, the earth playing her vast array of harmonies, harmonies wrought of whispering grasses, pounding hooves, lapping waters, laughing children on the run, and the call of wild birds in flight. That particular day, however, there was only a lone hawk soaring above in the cloudless expanse of the day’s sapphire blue sky. Nevertheless it it was enough to inspire images in my mind of sun-bronzed bodies riding bareback on painted ponies, wispy curls of smoke rising from tee pees, herds of grazing buffalo, joyful children at play, beautiful black-haired women going about their daily tasks, and perhaps the faint sound of drums and flutes playing a shamanic kind of melody. Despite wanting to get to our home hundreds of miles away from there, with every advancing mile I lamented that we were drawing closer to the end of this peaceful and prepossessing land, and as we neared its end I began to feel a deep sense of sorrow. There was in me a longing and a sense of envy for those who and that which had known the earth in her beautiful infancy, loved the earth for its providence and splendor, worked the land and revered it as well as its Maker..

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. ~Psalm 37:3 ✝

**Image via Pinterest