1457. Macbeth says “It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.” ~William Shakespeare

What’s it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
~Burt Bacharach

Screen Shot 2018-09-13 at 10.01.39 PM.png

At times a heavy shoe falls again and again in an endless succession and brings down things we’ve never seen coming, never wanted to have to face, and never know quite how to process. Prior to this I posted a piece I wrote exactly 5 years ago today. I had recovered from a stroke almost a year before I wrote it, and life seemed to hold lots of promise and welcome wonderment back then. How quickly, however, the tide can turn that sends one reeling upon uncharted waters full of pain, trials, fears, and questions about life such as: are your days racing to an end imminently, have you lived the life that was given you well, and can you still find purpose in whatever remains you?

After a weighty, burdensome shoe came crashing down in my life last March with the discovery of breast cancer, 6 months later shoe after shoe continues to fall, each one seemingly more challenging than the last. And though I know and feel the Lord’s hand written all over these events, I keep wondering if I have the “stuff” it takes to put one foot in front of the other with grace, humility, and dignified faith despite the pain, the fears, and the unnerving realities. When one looks back over 7 decades of living, he/she can surely see moments when God’s hand of grace brought him/her through countless “rings of fire.” And of course the ONLY appropriate response is gratitude which really should be in place at the time the trials are taking place but if not most certainly in the aftermath! But interestingly in the throes of trials, he/she often curses those difficult moments, bemoans what has befallen him/her, and entertains the idea that life really is a “tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing” only to realize later that there was divine design and purpose in all that had transpired.

So it is tonight that I’m sitting and thinking on such things after having been sent to the hospital because I nearly passed out in the yard yesterday. My blood pressure was dropping lower and lower, and at first it was assumed it had something to do with the doctor’s recent concern about possible heart problems. But as the day progressed, other “shoes” new and more daunting became apparent. For it seems that since August 20th when I wrote about the lung nodule that was of concern, my hemoglobin has dropped four points indicating that I’m bleeding somewhere in my GI tract. Consequently I had to stay overnight in the hospital so I could be given a blood transfusion while more tests were being run revealing that my potassium levels are low and my white cell blood count is half of what it should be. Now, though back home this evening, more doctor appointments beginning tomorrow loom on the horizon as well as more tests and more concerns about what it all means. And as I write this my arms are bruised from all the needle sticks, my psyche is bruised, and I find myself contemplating “what it all means Alfie” (a favorite line from an old movie) as well as doing my best to heed this line of Scripture below.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ~Philippians 4:4 ✝

29 thoughts on “1457. Macbeth says “It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing.” ~William Shakespeare

  1. I don’t know if you caught my post the other day…don’t mess with Texas…Cheerleaders…
    but the first half of the post was about my favorite Texas tumbleweed that is nothing but tenacious…particularly when she’s in a fight…this fight just happens to be a bit unseen…
    but feisty and tenacious this tumbleweed is..and yes she will endure and triumph—that’s a guarantee from above!
    Love to you my bruised yet tenacious fighting friend!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. LOVE YOU! I wish we could go back and re-live some of our wonderful times together…..I miss you and all of our friends around the “round ‘table”….such wisdom we thought we had……..and such support and love we enjoyed….May you still feel that love and caring from all of us. I am keeping you in my prayers. Cliney

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dearest Natalie… I somehow missed this post earlier this week… but I want you to know that my heart is heavy… I will do my best to follow your example and rejoice in God’s care of you. But I do want you to know that as of today, I am doubling down even more in my prayers for you and your healing. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help, even at such a distance. Sending you much love and prayers!! 💜🙏💜🙏💜

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Natalie, you are so full of Grace and wisdom, yet human with human wondering and feelings which make your testimony even more powerful. I’m sending prayers and hugs for comfort and peace to you. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.