I’m living in…

A bit of good news came today in that my hemoglobin count was 9.8. Since this journey of trying fight off or buy more time with the preleukemia which made itself apparent in a bone marrow biopsy last September, it has been an uphill struggle with one week a month rounds of chemo and often weekly blood transfusions to keep my count above 8. So once more, thank you Jesus!

**Image via Facebook

49 thoughts on “I’m living in…

  1. Praise Holy God! He hears our prayers! I celebrate with you, Natalie, your precious family and precious friends! Our God reigns! ❤️🙏❤️ Will continue to pray for complete healing!🙏

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  2. My darling Natalie I love you so much and every day I pray for you. I am so happy to hear this. You are such a fighter. I always loved your fierce spirit you helped me countless times just with the inspirational woman you are. I pray for you and I love you and that is all I have and everything I have. Thank you for existing and being my friend and making this world better for its gift of YOU

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    • Awwwww that is so kind and sweet of you my lovely Candice!!! I love being your friend. I consider it an honor and if I’ve had an impact in your life that’s just the icing on the cake!!! Thank you so much for praying for me! I could fight this battle without prayers and support. The Lord has always been so good to me and when he sent you into my world it was one more blessing. I’m sorry I’ve been absent from comments and your world,

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    • But this is the hardest year and battle I’ve ever had to fight. And I’ve have to fight it with little strength and stamina as that is what the low hemoglobin has cost me. I don’t know yet if I’ll win this battle or not but I’m not throwing in the towel yet! God granted me a miracle when I had a stroke 6 years ago and I’m praying for another miracle. I love you so much and am sorry your facing tough times as well. You are such a talented writer and lovely lady and I so wish that was enough for others to see and appreciate without being critical! The world it seems has become a very cold place filled with mean spirited,

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    • Sorry I keep hitting the damn reply button before I’m finished. I do love you so and hate that anyone gives you grief. Just ignore the naysayers and spread your beautiful inner wings and fly above the nastiness❣️ Je t’aime beloved girl😘😘😘😘❌⭕️❌⭕️❌⭕️

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    • You know how a pin ball machine hits all those things that make noise; when you write like this one that is so honest and raw it feels like a pin ball is hitting everything that has ever hurt me or touched me deeply and I have to wonder how that can be. And I feel sure others who read your words are impacted in the same way. You have an incredible way of understanding all the sham of life and the betrayals, we as flawed and broken humans, are subject to. Reading this was heartbreaking and at the same time spelling binding in its profound insights of existence in a fallen and flawed world! Would that I could bring light and healing into the wounds you spoke of!!! Je t’aime, Natalie ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰

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      • I was thinking of you this morning as so often I do, and I was wishing that you were nearer, and that we could talk over a drink and a slow morning and I realized that even when we don’t I talk to you in my head I think that is where a friend is, in your heart and you are always with them even when you are not, if that friend’s existence transfuses you with life and appreciation which you always have and always will. I am glad you think I write my truth I do, and the sham of life and the betrayals. For example you know from FB we did this Anthology for survivors, and I felt so proud of it and then this man who writes on WP and FB basically tore us to shreds by saying rape confessional poetry is so redundant and over done and attention seeking. Needless to say many of the authors in the book had their say, and he’s been vanquished, but the words remain, a reminder why we MUST speak our truths. Only today on TPR they were talking about the #metoo movement how it was a fraud, how so many cases were made-up and how the tech industry was refusing to hire women because of it or not talking to women if they were a man, and I just thought again – this is why we need this. Thank you for being someone who always supports their friends and their tribe. I adore you. It is that simple. I adore you.

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      • Oh I wish I were nearer too and we could do that! And yes you dwell in my head as well as my heart like friends do as you said. And I loved what you said about friends transfusing us with life and appreciation. That is indeed what sustains in this world fraught oft with sorrows and trials. I am so sorry that some heartless person was so critical of what you and others are doing with your writing and that there are those who feel the need to say such absurd and hurtful things as he or as was said on TPR. For such as they have never walked the proverbial mile in a victims shoes and knows shit about how that feels or what it does to the psyche of the victim. My 17 year old grandson who was assaulted by a pedophile on numerous times when he was 10 tried again to kill himself last weekend and is in a mental hospital for the second time in his young life as he struggles to cope with what happened to him. And the fact that he was given up at birth to be adopted adds to his feelings of despair and worthlessness. This will be a life long struggle for a Alex and it breaks my heart that someone, an adult and cleric, has done this to my beloved precious child of God, And sadly out of fear I suppose, for this is a mother’s nightmare, people want to just sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t/doesn’t happen. But it does happen tragically EVERY day!!! So don’t let the voices of other people upset you or deter you from speaking your truths! Years ago when my migraines were so bad and so regular and I was working, I was up as usual in the middle of the night with a headache so terribly bad that I wanted just to die, I came to the decision that since NOBODY was there in the cold darkness to stop the pain or sit with me in the dark I would never allow another person to define me, to judge me, or to criticize me! So walk your walk, talk your talk and DELETE, DELETE. DELETE the naysayers from your mind and your blog and your FB page!!! The ONLY person we have to get right with and answer to is God, our maker and savior. And we are asked by Him to leave the disapproval and judgement of others up to HIM! For they too will stand before HIM some day and answer for what they did or didn’t do. I love you and pray that the Lord guides your life and your pen dear sweet beloved child of God❣️🥰❌⭕️❌⭕️

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